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5,112 notes

au where obama loses his memory and reconnects to his past lives

Obama:
Who am I?
FDR:
You are the president
Obama:
I dont know what that is
Reagan:
In order to remember you must regain your American spirit
Lincoln:
If you don't, tyranny will engulf the country and you will die
Obama:
How do I regain my American spirit?
Clinton:
Go to the beginnings. Find freedom
-Washington Appears-
Obama:
Are you freedom?
Washington:
No, but I can help you find her
Washington:
My name is Washington, and i will show you how i became the first president

148,922 notes

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

(via ugly)

Filed under Im dying

28,041 notes

Gf:
babe come over
Me:
I'm eating garlic bread
Gf:
I'm horny and my parents aren't home
Me:
it's the kind that's covered in cheese